There are two kinds of people in this world––huggers and non-huggers. Or, in my opinion, huggers and the wayward. All kidding aside, physical touch is such a dividing line in life. Within both camps, there are varying degrees of what is acceptable physical touch. Maybe you love to hug but aren’t a cuddler. Or, you hate hugs but want someone to sit close to you while you watch a movie. You could be like me and accept all forms of physical affection. I joked recently that all I wanted for my birthday was a cuddle session and a good movie. (I mean, honestly, just thinking about that is my nirvana.) This idea has sent some of you screaming for the hills. That’s fine. We “touchers” will find you.
I respect the boundaries of my friends who are not “physical touch” people and they know that at some point they will have to hug me. It’s a two-way street, homies! And, while I respect their desires, I confess I don’t understand them. I know they don’t understand me. We agree to disagree and it is a beautiful thing. But, the point of this blog isn’t to debate whose way is better. Both camps can agree that physical touch is a necessity of life––some of us just need it more than others.
As one of the needy, I feel as if my body is always on high alert for when physical affection is given. I will watch myself––almost an out of body experience––scooch closer and closer to whoever I’m sitting next to. We may start out with a person’s space between us but by the end of the movie, I will be practically in your lap. (If you have ever watched a movie with me then you have experienced this. If you hated that… I apologize.) Every fiber of my being just wants to be near another’s.
I was launched into this thought process by a recent hug experience. It was the hug that surprises you. You both know you are going to hug each other but you didn’t expect it to be as tight, last as long, feel as weighty. It’s the hug that says, “I needed this. I love you. I miss you.” You don’t want to pull away. It’s a touchstone, an anchor point, in the day. A moment you mull on and are grateful you had. I love those kinds of hugs. But why do they mean so much?
In my life there have always been two indicators as to health in my relationships: can we laugh and can we be physically close. If both of these happen then that means everything is and will be okay. And, I don’t think I am the only person who feels this way. Touch is a powerful, healing mechanism. Hugs have been found to trigger and release oxytocin––the wonderful “feel-good” chemical. Every hug gives both the giver and the receiver a boost of feeling loved both emotionally and chemically. This chemical high helps to reduce your stress and has even been found to help reduce the frequency of getting sick with such viruses as the common cold. Yes, yes, I know, a hug can’t cure you of disease; but, knowing you are loved and supported––feeling the happiness that comes with oxytocin––has been shown to lead to a healthier and longer life.
So, I have proved my point scientifically. Well, as scientifically as I will get. I mean, I majored in theatre okay! I want to emphasize the point by looking at scripture. How many times was someone touched and healed by Jesus? I think of Mark 5:21-43 and the two women, both in opposing stages of life, who are healed by the touch of Christ. The passage begins with a father pleading to Jesus, “Please come and lay your hands on her; heal her so she can live.” He is desperate for his daughter to live. On the way to his house, the entire entourage is stopped because Jesus says, “Who touched my robe?” The group looks at him skeptically because so many people were pressing in on him. If the phrase, “What you talkin’ about, Willis,” had been a colloquialism at the time, I am certain that’s what the disciples would have said. Jesus tells them he felt power leave his body and finally the bleeding woman steps forward. She had believed that if she could just “touch his robe” she could be healed. Jesus calls her daughter, confirming His love for her, just as the anguishing father hears news that his beloved little girl has died. In spite of this announcement, Jesus proceeds to his house anyway. He makes the great declaration that “The child isn’t dead; she’s only asleep.” Once Jesus clears the house of the lookie-loos, He speaks to her. “Holding her hand, he said to her, ‘Talitha koum.’” The little girl awakes from her sleep to the touch and voice of her Creator.
One of my favorite passages on the power of Jesus’ touch is Matthew 14:24-33. The disciples are sailing as instructed by Jesus when they see him walking towards them on the water. Rightly so, they assume it’s a ghost. (We all like to roll our eyes at the disciples but, let’s face it, we all know we would be them.) Jesus tells them to stop freaking out because it’s him. Peter––of course, it’s Peter––says, “‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.’” We all know what happens after that. Jesus bids him come and as soon as Peter sees the waves and hears the wind he begins to sink. Peter cries out for help and receives it. “Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him.” He didn’t have to. The man who tells waves to be still and they obey didn’t have to physically touch Peter in that moment. Scripture doesn’t say why he physically rescues him, but I think he did it for Peter. Peter was human. He was petrified. He needed the comforting, rescuing touch of his Savior, not another mind-blowing miracle.
Jesus never had to touch anyone and yet he touched so many. He made us to crave physical human touch. As infants, we want to be held. One of the fastest ways to satiate a crying little stinker is to hold them. And, I think, one of our greatest longings is to be held by God. Can you imagine what that will feel like? Think of the best hug you have ever had. How safe did you feel? How happy? How connected? How loved? Now multiply that by a thousand and we can catch a glimpse of what His hugs will feel like. We crave that connection and are blessed that He allows us to experience a fleeting taste of it when we hug those we love.
We haven’t had a lot of hugs recently, have we? In fact, we have been told that the wrong hug could kill us or someone else. I look around the world right now and wonder if a good snuggle session, a giant hug, and a quick pat on the back wouldn’t do a great amount of healing. It’s hard to touch someone when you can’t physically touch someone. Expressing love with words is beautiful but expressing it with actions and touch makes the words all the more impactful. I’m not saying ignore medical advice and hug anyways. (I’m also not going to tattle on you if you do.) But, consider the power of physical touch to heal––to join. And, when you are sitting close to someone never forget to remind them of the ultimate healing touch of our Savior.
The Random Ramblings of a Real Redhead 